Troy: Thanks guys, I didn’t know going away parties could be so much fun. I should leave all the time.
Britta: Let’s not forget it’s OK to be sad, too.
Jeff: Britta, do you get kickbacks from big buzzkill?
Britta: Profressor Duncan?
Duncan: You stay back, Britta! I’m not afraid to push a girl into make-believe lava, in fact it’s been my primary strategy.
Duncan: What I’m worried about is money, my self-published novels aren’t going to publish themselves.
Britta: Don’t regress to primal behavior just because it’s allowed. We’re human beings not the editors of Teen Vogue. They’re setting a terrible example for today’s young women.
Duncan: Well I’m sorry Britta, but it’s either you or me…And I’m ME.
Ducan: Real nice Winger, this is why the English never win any sports. ‘Cause everyone else cheats!
Britta: Did you all hit your heads on each other’s heads?
Britta: Do you think this game’s gotten a little out of hand?
Jeff: Eh, feels normal enough for a school that’s on 911’s blocked caller list.
Britta: What are we getting from this extra level of commitment?
Chang: We’re getting your chairs, your food, and the names of your same-sex celebrity crushes. Everyone has one, don’t lie. Then you’re free to go, into LAVA!
Chang: Our truce ended when you banished us from the pay phone bench.
Troy: You used that bench to upset the balace. By the Vapors of Magmarath, we will restore it.
Chang: My same-sex celebrity crush is Nathan Fillion! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! NATHAN FILLION!
Britta: What’s the third step?
Abed: The third step’s survival, good luck Britta.
Buzz: They abandoned you? This game’s doing bad things to people. Now me, I’m just in it for the money. My son’s getting gay-married, the flowers alone, you have no idea.
Britta: I get it…I lived in New York.
Buzz: Alright miss Perry climb aboard, it’s fake killing time.
Garrett: Then came the now-now time, when the floors were covered with the burny touch.
Magnitude: I’m actually British!
Leonard: Cirque du so long, you high-stepping acro-bastards!
Garrett: Abandon fort! Women and man-children first!
Britta: Who’s there, bitch!? Floor! FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!
Troy and Abed: Troy and Abed in a bubble!
Star-Burns: I’m the only one left, I won 50,000 bucks! That’s 50,000 lottery tickets!
Troy: Ah!! I had a dream like this but it was sexual!
Hickey: Unbelievable. When this game is over, I’m gonna shove you back.
Britta: This is a laser guidance system that keeps the regeneration sequence from um, jib-jabbing.
Britta: I’m so excited for you. You’re gonna see the world and experience new cultures. I mean, techically all culture has been homogenized by 50 years of American imperialism. But at least the candy bar wrappers will…*sigh* god there I go. Almost Britta’d our good-buy, huh? I’m the worst.
Troy: You’re the best, and I love you.
Troy *whispering*: I’m better at sex than Jeff, right?
Britta: I’ve yet to have anyone worse.
Annie: All I ever wanted in high-school was for Troy Barnes to notice me, then I ended up living with you. I’m pretty lucky.
Troy: I’m not. I had a chance to be your friend in high-school, but I was too busy trying to be cool. I missed out on four more years of Annie.
Troy: You are the coolest guy I know, I hope I make you proud.
Jeff: I’ve never stepped foot outside of Colorado, you’re becoming much cooler than me by doing this.
Troy: Thanks for looking out for me.
Shirley: Thank you for putting up with the boring, old mom in your college study group.
Troy: You made a furniture fortress. You’re the badass from our study group.
Abed: Clone Troy.
Troy: Clone Abed.
Abed: By the way, when I cloned you, I had to patch some missing parts of your DNA with genes from a homing pigeon. You may notice side effects, like to compulsion to come back.
Troy: Cool. Clone hug?
Jeff: So, you’re really just gonna pilot this thing all on your own?
Troy: Well, Pierce’s will stated that someone would be assigned to travel with me to verify that I don’t cheat.
LeVar Burton: Captain Barnes. We should probably set sail while the wind is still in our favor, don’t you think?
LeVar Burton: Now, Troy, I know it’s gonna be difficult for you to interact with me…
Troy: No no, that was the original Troy. I’m his clone. Let’s get the lead out, Burton.
LeVar Burton: Aye aye, Sir.
LeVar Burton: You know, starting a sea voyage from landlocked Colorado may not have been the best idea.
Troy: We’ll drive to the river, then take the river to the ocean. Actually, I never thought I’d see you again. I have a couple Star Trek questions if you don’t mind.
LeVar Burton: No, go ahead.
Troy *excited*: What time did you guys have to get up in the morning? Does every writer write for one character? What’s a best boy? I saw it in the credits once. Why don’t they call it Planet Trek? You never go to a star. Not one episode.