Whitman: Mr. Winger! I hope you will be seizing the day this summer!
Jeff: Thanks Professor Whitman, and I hope you’ll be seizing a more contemporary movie!
Jeff: Looking good Leonard, stroke or Tai Chi?
Leonard: Tai Chi.
Jeff: Keep it up.
Jeff: And keep up whatever is it that you’re doing, Garret.
Garret: It’s called chillaxing, duh!
Pierce: What’s happened to you and me, Troy? Remember how hard we laughed when we first heard the term “Teacher’s Aids”?
Troy: Yeah, and then we found out a teacher did have AIDS.
Britta: What the hell is a transfer queen?
Annie: It’s like prom queen! You wear a sash, and there’s a vote, and if you win, they put a crown on your head, and I’m so jealous, Britta, I want to murder you! Aren’t you excited?
Britta: No! How did I get nominated?
Shirley: Don’t let it upset you Britta, it’s the last day of the semester, nothing can ruin that.
Dean Pelton: *walks in* HI!
Jeff: Amazing, it’s like an evil genie.
Dean Pelton: Just spreading the news, some folks say “transfer formal” isn’t really rolling off the tongue, so we’re just gonna call it the TRANNY DANCE!
Jeff: Much more Greendale.
Britta: So you think I’d feel better about myself if I got all sexed up, went over there, and really tried to be crowned queen of the dingbats?
Britta: Wow. Guess you really get what you pay for with free therapy.
Duncan: Ouch. That stung a little bit, thanks.
Duncan: Senor Chang Greendale’s foremost, if only, Spanish teacher. What can I do for you?
Senor Chang: I am actually a student now.
Senor Chang: But I was thinking, as a teacher and as my friend, um, if you could help me cheat my way through school.
Duncan: I have a counter-proposal. How about I point out to you that we’ve never actually been friends, then laugh at your very well-deserved misfortune? Let’s just try that a second. Ahem, ahahahaha.
Slater: I think I handled our breakup, poorly.
Jeff: Before I respond to that, I’ll have to take an extra-strength vitamin duh.*imitates taking a vitamin* Duh.
Vaughn: I could be the next Yngwe Mackadangdang Jr.
Duncan: Senor Chang. Is there a word in Spanish for someone who used to pretend to be a professor, but was a teacher, but wasn’t actually a teacher, and he’s now a student? Is there a word for that? Oh, if it was in Spanish, you wouldn’t know, would you? *Chang tries to take a swing* Ah, bup, bup, bup. Hit a professor, you’ll get expelled.
Senor Chang: I will find a loophole…
Duncan: Oh, good luck with that.
Senor Chang: Then I’ll kill you.
Pierce: You know, Troy, uh, our study group after all we’ve been through, we gotta stick together. You, me, and Jeff and rain man and big boobs and medium boobs and black boobs, we’re a family.
Troy: What’s your point?
Pierce: I’ve been looking at your situation, and I’d like to make an offer.
Troy: Okay, am I black boobs?
Troy: Oh, and for the record, there was an episode of Happy Days where a guy literally jumped over a shark, and it was the best one.
Dean Pelton: I didn’t think more than one person would answer the ad. Yes, dream coming true!
Britta: Jeff doesn’t need a girl who doesn’t wear underwear because Oprah told her it would spice things up. He needs a girl who doesn’t wear underwear because she hasn’t done laundry in 3 weeks. He’s been to flavor-country now, they should retire the table we did it on.
Dean Pelton: Miss Danielle Harmon!
Troy: My friendship with Abed is a giant cookie!
Star-Burns: Bring Conan back!
Duncan: My name is Ian Duncan and I’m here to say I’m going to rap to the beat in a rapping way I got a real big penis and I drink lots of tea.
Annie: I guess as we were driving away, I finally started living in the moment, and I realized that, in the moment, Greendale is where I belong.
Leonard: What a year. Only two pregnancy scares.