A Community/Rick & Morty/Dan Harmon Fansite (Community season six doesn't suck)

Anthropology 101

Abed: And we’re back.

Dean: Welcome students new and old, to another fall semester at Greendale! It’s time for clean slates and fresh starts, celebrate your fresh start tonight, at the Fresh Start Dance in the cafeteria. The same cafeteria where Britta Perry publicly professed her love to Jeff Winger, who then walked out on her. Unforgettable! Plus, free punch and fresh start cookies, tonight! At the Fresh Start Daaannnncccee!

Troy: Look at us, living together, driving to school together.
Pierce: I know, we’re like Batman and Shaft!
Troy: Batman actually had a guy, his name was Robin, he rode around with him.
Pierce: Troy, Batman’s friend didn’t have to be Robin, it could’ve been Shaft, Dolemite, Lee Roy Brown. Don’t let society limit your people.

Pierce: Hey, how was your summer?
Troy: I live with you.

Britta: It’s like high school all over again, “Psycho Britta” the walking freak show for every Barbie with a Cosmo subscription.

Jeff: I don’t like where that’s going.
Annie: I know, right?
Jeff: Annie, do you remember that little talk we had?
Annie: The one about discretion?
Jeff: Yeah, stop that! Look, we agreed that you and I kissing was a mistake and if anyone were to find out about it. I would be tarred, feathered, and put on one of those websites people check when they’re buying a house.
Annie: It’s forgotten Jeff, jeez I’m not some love-struck teeny-bopper. But you should know, wwe didn’t just kiss, we technically Frenched, I checked the Make-Out Meter in this months issue of…National Review.
Jeff: I don’t like where that’s going.

Jeff: Britta. I love you. Now I know this puts you in an awkwardly powerful position…But I have to know, right now, in front of everyone. Do you love me too?
Britta: More than anything in the world.
Jeff: Really?
Britta: Yeah.
Jeff: So…it…begins. The greatest relationship ever known.
*Jeff and Britta start awkwardly kissing*
Prof. Bauer: This is making me sick. *drinks urine*

Jeff: I downloaded a song that makes me think of you, let’s listen to it each using one ear-bud.

Troy: Maybe it’s the telescope, you could look through it backwards, shrink your enemies!

Jeff: Sorry I’m late, I was in my car loving Britta.

Britta: First Vaughn, now Jeff. I better not smile at that wall outlet or you’ll fry your tongue off!

Troy: Way to hog all the girls, Jeff. You know, when there’s three sprinkled doughnuts, you don’t eat one and then lick another.

Troy: I’m just sharing what you say.
Pierce: Yeah? Well, what if I share all the stuff you say? He thinks all dogs are boys and all cats are girls.
Troy: There’s no way to disprove that. Have you ever seen a cat penis?

Jeff: Oh, good. Yeah, Abed, cancel us. And while you’re at it why don’t you take your cutesy “I can’t tell life from TV” gimmick with you? You know, it’s very “season one.”
Abed: I can tell life from TV, Jeff. TV makes sense, it has structure, logic, rules, and likeable leading men. In life, we have this. We have you.

Prof. Bauer: I don’t know Mr. Winger. The last time I called on you, I kind of got what the Maku-Maku call “dirt-roaded.”
Chang: Using it!
Señor Chang: Using it.

Chang: Hah! Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Jeff: I…respect you.
Prof. Bauer: That’s what you fail!

Pierce: How about, “Old White Man Says” the TV show?
Everyone: No.
Troy: Who would watch that?

Chang: Is there any room in this pocket for a little spare Chang?

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Dan Harmon Sucks © 2016

P.S. Dan doesn't suck.
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