Jeff: We just created 50 potential meth heads, and the least we can do is hit the reset button and get that number down to the national average.
Annie: You don’t count Britta, you don’t respond to anything appropriately.
Britta: Thank you.
Abed: Getting rid of drugs was a good I-Bee-A.
Annie: He’s about to get flushed down the toilet in the next scene and he’ll be done.
Dean Pelton: Well that answers my question. Jeff Winger is sexy even in a coffin.
Chang: Are you ignoring me because I’m Korean?
Shirley: You’re Chinese.
Chang: Oh there’s a difference?
Kids: We want drugs!
Troy: I’m flying higher than I ever have thanks to not drugs. *gets hit with baseball*
Pierce (as “Drugs”): Don’t call me honey, honey.
Pierce (as “Drugs”): POKEEEEEEEEMON!
Britta: What does this symbol mean? It’s the number 8, and equals sign and then a greater than symbol.
Jeff: Lemme see. You better get changed, I’ll hang on to your stuff for you.
Jeff: Abed, we screwed up, you know that text we sent? It was to Britta’s nephew, he sent her an emotipenis.
Pierce: What is a period fairy?
Annie: The fairy that gives you a dollar every time you get your period
Pierce: Does she still come?
Annie: I’m only taking this because I’m a little worried about making rent and they told me the procedure for selling eggs takes three weeks.
Abed: What are you doing?
Jeff: Dragging Britta kicking and screaming into 1997.
Pierce: What are you doing in an apartment above Dildopolis? And when did they open a second location?
Abed: Do you think bees eat their own honey?
Troy: I’m sure they’ve at least tasted it.
Troy: How come he gets a front stinger?
Shirley: I don’t think my character would say “tripping balls,” OK?
Troy: Are you sure my costume isn’t on backwards? Somehow I felt more confident before.
Abed: Is Pierce marijuana, and does marijuana help people move faster? I thought it just made them custom paint vans and solve mysteries.