|M. Night Shaym-Aliens! – Episode 104|
|Synopsis||Rick and Morty try to get to the bottom of a mystery in this M. Night Shamyaloin style twistaroony of an episode! (Guest Starring David Cross)|
Post-Credit Scene: Jerry debuts his new advertising slogan for apples in the real world, only to be fired on the spot for how terrible it is despite his protests that it went over well in the simulation. After Jerry leaves, his former boss wonders how Jerry could go home and sleep with his wife after what he had tried to do. Meanwhile, a drunk Rick enters Morty’s room during the night. As Rick starts complimenting his grandson and showing appreciation for him, Rick quickly turns on him with a knife and demands to know if Morty is a simulation. Rick then apologizes before passing out on the floor.
Morty: what’s with mom?
Rick: oh, what’s with mom? So, you’re saying that she’s Acting weird? How soph*burps*isticated. Careful, guys. You’re gonna burn out the CPU with this one.
Goldenfold: All right, who can tell me What 5 x 9 is? *students whispering* Morty?
Morty: uh, me?
Goldenfold: What is 5 x 9?
Morty: Umm you know, it’s uhh at least 40.
Goldenfold: Morty, that’s exactly Correct! Come up here. Whoo! Way to go, Morty! Everybody, this is the best student.
Rick: Morty, u-uh, come on. There’s a family emergency.
Goldenfold: Stop right there! If he leaves, I’m giving him an “f.”
Rick: He doesn’t care.
Rick: Take a shower with me, Morty.
Morty: Ugh! I’m gonna get an “f” in class, Rick.
Rick: Morty, that’s not class. T-t-t-that wasn’t your teacher. This isn’t your school. This entire world is not the world. We’re inside a huge simulation chamber on an alien spaceship.
Morty: wait a minute. W-what are you talking about?
Rick: it’s all fake *burps* Morty, all of it. Nanobotic renderings, a bunch of crazy fake nonsense, Morty. I couldn’t say so until we got In the shower. They won’t monitor us in here.
Morty: Monitor us?! W-who?!
Rick: Zigerion scammers, Morty the galaxy’s most ambitious, least successful con artists. You know, it’s lucky for us they’re also really uncomfortable with nudity.
Voice: This is earth radio. And now, here’s human music. *repetitive rhythmic beeping*
Jerry: hmm. Human music. I like it.
Rick: Uhp, uhp, uhp! Morty, keep your hands off your ding-dong! It’s the only way we can speak freely.
Rick: W-what about that, Morty?
Morty: Okay, okay, you got me on that one.
Rick: Oh, really, Morty? Are you sure you haven’t seen that somewhere in real life before?
Morty: No, no. I haven’t seen that. I mean, why would a pop tart Want to live inside a toaster, Rick? I mean, that would be, like, the scariest place for them to live. You know what i mean?
Rick: you’re missing the Point, Morty. Why would he drive a smaller toaster with wheels? I mean, does your car look like a smaller version of your house? No.
Jerry: Guess who just sold the apples campaign.
Beth: Who just sold the Apples campaign?
Jerry: Me! I guess it wasn’t a rip-off of “got milk?” after all. Guess someone was wrong.
Jerry: Well, all is forgiven, Because right now, I’ve got an erection the size of an east coast lighthouse, and I’m coming home to share it with my Beautiful wife.
Jerry: Wait really?
Jerry: Yes! See you in 10 minutes!
Jerry: Yeah! You like that? Now who’s unremarkable? You hungry for apples? *squeaking intensifies* Are you hungry for apples?! *squeaking stops* *sighs deeply* *chuckles* Oh, my god. That’s the best sex I’ve ever had in my life.
Rick: Totes malotes, dawg.
Cynthia: Sir, the, uh, doctor’s appointment to examine the discoloration on your butthole flaps was-
Prince Nebulon: Too loud, Cynthia. Too loud and too specific.
Prince Nebulon: Oh, my god, Rick. How dumb are you? You’re inside a simulation Of a simulation Inside another giant simulation! [ laughs ] W-we never had the recipe for Concentrated dark matter. But we do now! We do now, sucka!
Rick: you simulated my Grandson’s genitalia?! Y-y-you bunch of diabolical sons of bitches!
Zigerion: Kevin fought real hard to supervise that project.
Kevin: You said you weren’t gonna tell anyone! I’m never gonna live this down, am I?
Prince Nebulon: Oh, a-and by the way, I don’t have discolored butthole-flaps. That was part of the simulation.
Cynthia: Oh. Uh, sir, should i cancel that Appointment, then?
Prince Nebulon: Yeah! Of course you should! *chuckles* No, keep it. Move it up, actually, if you can.
Prince Nebulon: All right, everybody. Two parts plutonic quarks one part cesium *fizzing* A-and listen, I’m sorry for yelling earlier. I-I couldn’t ask for a better staff. I love you guys, and i love all Your families. And the final ingredient-*ship blows up*
Jerry: Whoa! What the hell?! W-what happened back there?
Rick: why don’t you ask the Smartest people in the universe, Jerry? Oh, yeah. *burps* you can’t. They blew up.
Rick: Hey, Morty.
Rick: Hey, little buddy.H-h-how you doing in here right now?
Morty: Aw, geez, Rick. What are you doing, man?
Rick: Y-y-you’re a good kid, Morty. Y-you’re a real l-little c-character, Morty.
Morty: Oh, boy.
Rick: You know, I had a really rocky road today, M-Morty. You’re my little friend, aren’t you? *sighs* We had some good times together, huh, m-Morty? We–You’re a real true hero out in The field. You’re a li–You’re a real trouper, huh, M-M-Morty?
Morty: Have you been drinking, Rick?
Rick: I really appreciate you, Morty.
Morty: O-Okay, cool. A-All right, Rick
Rick: You little son of a Bitch! Y-y are you a simulation?! Huh?! Are you a simulation?!
Morty: No! No! No!
Rick: You little son of a Bitch!
Rick: I-I-I’m sorry, Morty. Y-you’re a good You’re a good kid, Morty.
Rick: Y-you’re a good You’re a good kid.
Morty: Oh, my god! Rick:
Morty: W-W-What the hell? What a life.
|Prince Nebulon||David Cross||Intergalactic scammer.|