VCR Maintainance and Educational Publishing

Annie: Nobody picks up on my patterns! What am I gonna say next? Graham cracker! You didn’t know.

Jeff: Hey, it’s the “Awww” couple!
Everyone: Awww.

Dean Pelton: Payday is postponed until next week, so this, is my freestyle rap apology. *rapping* Well, I’m a peanut bar and I’m here to say, your checks will arrive on another day. Another day, another dime, another rhyme another dollar, another stuffed shirt with another white collar. Criminals, wall street, taking the pie, and all the black man gets is a plate of white lies. Prisons! Recruitin’ ’em! Police be shootin’ them! Rap artists lootin’ them, labels all dilutin’ them. Barack Obama is SCARRRRRRRED of me, ’cause I don’t swallow knowledge and it I spit it for free. Let me clear my throat, ah ha, haaa *drops mic* *sobbing* I don’t know what that was, I don’t. I don’t know what that was. *runs off*

Anthony: Is it cool if I poop?

Annie: I ain’t living with your month long girlfriend, brah.
Abed: Well, I ain’t living with your wack ass, don’t-know-whether-to-keep-cutting-carrots-or-ask-if-he-can-take-a-poop-brother.

Anthony: I guess it was just air.

Buzz: Look, we are the committee that deals with Greendale’s problems. Now did you see anything on our list about a pile of missing books that are worth more than the school they’re hidden in?

Shirley: Okay, alright but if we’re going to do this, we’re going to do this clean and safe. We’re going to move these to my restaurant in bread carts and we’re going to sit on them until we know they’re cold. Then we’re going to price them through a third party and unload them in one big score. None of that nickel and dime crap, I don’t want to leave a trail.

Anthony: What do you think happens after you die?
Rachel: I don’t know.
Anthony: You’re lucky.

Rachel: Abed, I don’t like this side of you. And I do not like that side of VCR technology, I am glad that it’s a dead medium. That was very uncomfortable.
Anthony: I don’t really know how girlfriends work, but I don’t think you have one anymore.

*guy slips on wet floor*
Rachel: Aww, you hired a stunt person.
Abed: No, I did not.