Jeff: Annie, do we have to have another talk about you wanting to play house with me?
Annie: Sha. Sha-na-not.
Kevin: Thank you all so much for inviting me to my first Christmas. Oh, Annie explained to me that “no gifts” means “bring gifts.” I’m getting it, no means yes.
Abed: Does Annie live here now?
Prof. Cornwallis: Lovely place, very feminine.
Britta: Did you hear him use “feminine” as an insult? Typical phallo-centric worldview. I bet he gave us a failing grade because he could tell my section was written by a strong, independent-
Troy: Would you excuse me? I’ve just seen an old friend.
Jeff: I copied and pasted the lyrics to “War, What Is It Good For?
Britta: Good God!
Jeff: You ruined our Christmas dinner so you could be crowned the smartest person at the dumbest school?
Annie: You’re F-ing us?
Troy: Yeah, if there’s a human version of Scrooge McDuck, this guy is it.
Shirley: Kevin, bad!
Kevin: I have Changesia, I’m not a dog.
Jeff: Let me explain to you why you won’t do that.
Troy: First, he’s tied up.
Jeff: First, you’re tied up.
Prof. Cornwallis: The Romans loved Rome when it was raping half the world, but when Hannibal came charging over the Alps, the Romans turned on themselves as quickly as you can say, “e pluribus unum.”
Troy: I’m pretty sure it’s “anus.”
Troy: Heat? There’s no heat. If there was heat, I’d be nervous, and, if I was nervous, I’d be rambling, and I’m definitely not rambling, so there’s no heat.
Dean Pelton: Next time you decide to have a party without me, Jeffrey, at least have the decency to do it when I’m in spin class. I’m a blast at holiday-themed parties.