Jeff: We are so screwed, how are we gonna memorize all this?
Shirley: Let’s just go over it again. Kingdom, phylum, class.
Pierce: Order, family, genus, species. I use a mnemonic device. “Kevin, please come over for gay sex.”
Annie: Why wouldn’t you use “Karen?”
Pierce: Because it’s gay sex, dummy.
Shirley: So use “great.”
Pierce: Now I can’t remember anything, thanks.
Dean Pelton: Ahh. The duali-dean of man. Heh heh.
Jeff: Three-hour lunch? Three-hour lunch? Three-hour lunch?
Pierce: Three hours? I could watch the first half of three movies!
Annie: Troy, you could drive. You always like that spiral parking ramp.
Troy: You just keep turning left, but you end up up!
Abed: I can’t go to Senor Kevin’s, the manager and I are enemies. He said Die Hard was bad, he said Die Hard was bad.
Dean Pelton: I left my “Putting on the Ritz” cane in here earlier. I know it probably has another name but-Can I be perfectly honest with you guys? I think I went too far with this one, I have to go to the bank today. What am I supposed to tell people in line? I had good news and bad news? Come on Craig, get your life together.
Oh, those appetizers were dope AND legit.
I don’t usually support lunch because it’s unfair to breakfast.
I never thought about meals fighting each other. I guess that explains why you never see any two of them on the same table.
So I guess Annie’s pretty hot to get us together.
She probably just doesn’t understand people.
Well, the sooner the food comes the sooner this will be over.
As the manager
I’m afraid your food won’t be ready for another half hour, I’m too busy misunderstanding the whole point of Die Hard.
I can’t wait to get back home to Abed.
Senor Kevin’s Manager: And another thing I hate about Die Hard, two FBI agents named Johnson?
Annie: Sodium pentothal, known commonly as truth serum.
Abed as Troy
I saw Abed’s name in the hospital’s school files, I love butt stuff, I hate spiders, I stole a pen from the bank, I cried during About a Boy. The soundtrack. I don’t wash my hands before surgery. I can see why women find Clive Owen attractive to the point where I might just as well be attracted to him. I use comparisons to Hitler to win arguments on the internet at the drop of a hat. I know nothing about wine. I’m more turned on by women in pajamas than lingerie, I just wanna know they feel comfortable. *crying* I didn’t get Inception. I didn’t get Inception.
Annie: Abed wasn’t there, so whose memory is this?
Abed as Jeff
Maybe it’s yours, maybe the Dreamatorium really works. Or maybe Leonard was watching from the bushes and told Abed about it.
I don’t have cable.
Pierce: Sounds like this has been a game-changing day for all of us. I almost sat on my balls, but at the last second, I made an adjustment.
Britta: Good job!
Abed: Good work.
Troy: Good job, man.
Pierce: Okay, I didn’t really avoid sitting on them. I sat right on them. Hurt like hell, I saw eagles.