Abed: Don’t shoot red-haired guy.
Bill: Why not?
Troy: Something’s not right about the game, we just took out a guy who turned out to be a professional paintball assassin.
Dean Pelton: A professional? Ahhh!
Dean Pelton: That doesn’t make sense, why would someone who gets paid to do things be at Greendale?
Dean Pelton: Dean Spreck?
Dean Spreck: Hell Craig.
Dean Pelton: City College…Now I understand everything, now your whole evil plan is clear as day. But if you need to explain it to your men, I understand.
Dean Spreck: It’s simple, Craig. I posed as a fake ice cream company, sponsored your end of the year picnic, and waved enough money under your students’ noses to provoke them to destroy their own campus.
Dean Pelton: Who hurt you Steven? How could any dean be some mean?
Dean Spreck: Oh, you haven’t seen how mean this dean can be..en.
Dean Pelton: Wait, did you say “bean”?
Britta: But if we surrender our individuality to form a faceless regime, how are we any better than them?
Vicky: You’re the worst!
Britta: Okay, she is just saying that to fit in.
Troy: Yeah, but we still might have a chance to hit ’em where it hurts.
Leonard: Their balls?
Leonard: Just below their balls?
Troy: Their wallet, Leonard.
Leonard: I think it’s called a taint.
Jeff: I don’t step up to being leader, Troy. I reluctantly accept it when it’s thrust upon me.
Troy: Pop what? Pop What? WHAT IS HE TRYING TO SAY!? POP WHAT MAGNITUDE?
Dean Pelton: Yay! Jeff Winger’s study group! Those guys are ballers, yo.
Dean Pelton: I hope you like getting balled.
Storm Trooper: “Welcome to Greendale, you’re already accepted” Heh, losers.
Storm Trooper: What the hell?
Annie: Welcome to Greendale.
Abed: You’re already dead.
Annie: Here, help me with this.
Abed: Sure thing your worship.
Troy: I do happen Jeff, I happen very much.
Jeff: Paint in sprinklers? Are we the little rascals?
Leonard: I was.
Garret: I don’t take orders from girls, because they don’t talk to me.
Troy: They’re right on our tail, Operation: “Troy’s awesome plan” is living up to it’s name.
Jeff: Squad B commencing operation “Actual Operation.”
Jeff: Everyone look alive. Leonard, good enough.
Shirley: Can we move this along? I’m missing CSI.
Jeff: Hey, Quendra with a Q-U. They can kill most of us, but as long as nobody gives up, somebody will make it through. Understand?
Jeff: Well, I’m old. We lost.
Britta: See you at Denny’s?
Jeff: Denny’s is for winners.
Leonard: Britta, I’ve been a few real wars, but this one is actually the most terrifying.
Abed: Doing anything fun for the summer?
Janitor: No plans.
Abed: Cool, cool cool cool.