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Dean Pelton: Dammit! Come on. Oh, Elroy! Elroy, hey. Computer no worky. Elroy: Please don’t do that. Dean Pelton: Computer no worky. Elroy: Did you forget your password again? Pelton, I can’t keep track of all the parakeets you had…

Jeff: call us here? Dean Pelton: I don’t know. Some financial prospect that could put the school in the black. Which always confuses me, because black means bad. When it’s a cat or banana or a shirt that makes you…

Annie: Always scare Daniel-san, Miyagi hate fighting… Miyagi hate fighting. Chang: Line? Annie: Yeah, but you like karate. Chang: Right, right, yeah, but, y-you like karate though. Annie: So? Chang: Line. Annie: Chang, the audition’s at 3. Chang: Maybe I…

Annie *texting*: Frankie, are you awake? Frankie *texting*: I’m in bed, but I only rest half my brain at a time. Go! Frankie *texting*: Annie Edison requesting emergency meeting at school in 30. Greendale in trouble. Dean Pelton *texting*: I’ll…

Flint: Hat Muffs, Spit Take, shoot down those rattlers. Flint: Tight Ship, you can overhault G.I. Joe when you’re commander. Buzzkill: Which will clearly happen any day now, as long as your *bleep* stay on full display. Flint: Whoa, Buzzkill,…

Annie: So, according to the demonologist, the gymnasium is clean. Shirley: I’ve got a problem. I don’t like Abed’s problem with our like of problems. Annie: Oooooh. Shirley: Oh. Ah, okay! I commented on his commentary. I just drew a…

Abed: We’re like The Goonies, except our story tracks logically and has a chance of holding to objective critical scrutiny. Duncan: It’s so clear now, the entire school is shaped like penis. Buzz: What the hell does your penis look…

Troy: Thanks guys, I didn’t know going away parties could be so much fun. I should leave all the time. Britta: Let’s not forget it’s OK to be sad, too. Jeff: Britta, do you get kickbacks from big buzzkill? Britta:…

Annie: Save Greendale Committee, please welcome our newest member. Math teacher Ben Chang! *silence* Duncan: I, for one, am glad this is happening. What this school needs is a band of heros, champions willing to rise up and “get all…

Duncan: Jeff, we’ve known each other a long time, right? You’ve come to respect me. Jeff: Sure. Duncan: Well, get ready to stop. Please help me seduce Britta, now that you’ve finished doing it with her. Please, please. Jeff: Do…