Contemporary Impressionists

Pierce: I digitized my entire movie collection. Goodbye VHS, hello Selecta Vision CED Video Disc.

Britta: I’m very psyched for the new semester, or should I say, Intro to Human Psyched.
Abed: Mm…
Shirley: The worst.
Britta: For our midterm, we actually get to diagnose a fellow student with something.
Annie: Don’t you do WAY too much of that already?
Britta: Accusational Opposition Disorder.

Jeff: It appears you’ve all noticed my swagger has a new swagger. I’ll explain. Over break I took the plunge and stared seeing a new shrink.
Britta: What? Hello.
Jeff: Hello. Anyway, I talked about my dad, punched a few pillows. And she put me on this amazing anti-anxiety pill. It’s really enhanced my self-confidence. I explained that really well.

Jeff: I’m an exceptional narcissist, Britta.

Dean Pelton *to Chang*: Okay. I don’t know who told you pouting was an option for you, but all you’re making me feel right now is hatred of Renee Zellweger.

Leonard: Looking good, Winger.
Jeff: Thank you, Leonard. For that compliment, and for your service to this country.

Vinnie: Wow, this is rare. Both versions of Michael Jackson.

Britta: Jeff in is grave danger, hee-hee!

Britta: You have bad posture. When you do too many push-ups, it looks like you have boobs. The tile in your bathroom is tacky. You were emotionally closed off in bed to the point where one time I didn’t come up because I couldn’t find close enough parking *slaps Jeff* You have an unusually high butt crack!
Jeff: Thank you. It couldn’t have been easy for you to lie like that.