Rick and Morty Quotes

Brad Anderson: Hi, I’m Brad Anderson. Creator of the nationally syndicated comic strip “Marmaduke”. You should consider being a creative.
I’m hunted by uncontrollable thoughts of mutilation and sexual assaults on a nearly daily basis. But you know? I channeled it all into my work.

Jerry: And it was born on America’s soil which entitles it-
Beth: Jerry, majoring in civics was your mistake. Don’t punish us for it.

Morty Jr: My life has been a lie! God is dead! The government’s lame! Thanksgiving is about killing Indians! Jesus wasn’t born on Christmas, they moved the date, it was a pagan holiday!

Rick: Oh boy, what’s the opposite of “wubba-lubba-dub-dubs”? Am I right, ladies and gentlemen?

Morty: What do I do if it cries?
Beth: Then you put it down and let it cry itself out.
Jerry: Yeah, right. We tried that technique on Summer and she is gonna end up stripping. Isn’t she? Yes she is. She is gonna strip for attention because she was denied it.
Beth: Stop filling it with your own insecurity. You’re gonna turn it into Mort-uh-mm-more more more of you.

Morty: What the hell? Why would Mr. Goldenfold’s dream version of Mrs. Pancakes’ dream version of a centaur be dreaming about a scary place like this, Rick?
Rick: Geez, I don’t know, Morty. Wha-what do you want from me?
Scary Terry: Welcome to your nightmare, bitch!
Rick: Oh, here we go!
Morty: Holy crap!
Rick: Looks like some sort of legally safe knock-off of an ’80s horror character with miniature swords for fingers instead of knives.
Scary Terry: I’m Scary Terry. You can run, but you can’t hide, bitch!

Scary Terry: Nothing but fear from here on out, bitch!

Jerry: You wouldn’t by any chance have some sort of crazy science thing you could whip up that might help make this dog a little smarter, would you?
Rick: I thought the whole point of having a dog was to feel superior, Jerry. If I were you, I wouldn’t pull that thread.

Summer: I can’t believe how mean snuffles got just because he’s smart. This is why I choose to get Cs.

Snowball: You’re being very aggressive, Jerry. Perhaps tomorrow Dr.
scraps will solve that problem with a bit of surgery.
Jerry: You think you can control me with a haircut?

Jerry: Now, remember no tv, no phones, no laptops. We are connecting this Christmas, like old-school Jews on a Saturday.

Ethan: Those guys are inside me, huh? Like, building a park?
Rick: Those guys are inside you building a piece of shit, Ethan! They’re inside you building a monument to compromise! Fuck ’em. Fuck those people. Fuck this whole thing, Ethan.
Ethan: Cool. And who pays me?

Morty: Oh, my god! This is insane! Spleen Mountain? Bladder Falls? Pirates of the Pancreas?
Rick: you got a problem with that last one, Morty?
Morty: Huh? No, no. I’m just reading ’em out loud in the order that I’m seeing ’em.
Morty: *screams* Rick! It’s a monster!
Rick: No, no, no. Morty. The only monster here is alco*belches*holism. That is an animatronic werewolf.

Rick: Look, I-I-I *belches* I don’t have time for you to wrap your little walnut around everything. Just hold your breath until the process is over or your lungs will collapse.
Morty: What proc-*screams*

Rick: Don’t worry about your *burps* C-Christmas, Jerry. *burps* I’ll be with Reuben in my workshop while you guys are having another day in Phil Collins’ proverbial paradise.

Rick: Earth Rick C-137, the council of Ricks sentences you to the machine of unspeakable doom. Which swaps your conscious and unconscious minds. rendering your fantasies pointless while everything you’ve ever known becomes impossible to grasp. Also, every 10 seconds it stabs your balls.

Jerry: H-hello?
Rick: Hey, Jerry, it’s Rick.
Jerry: Rick! Hey. What’s-what’s up?
Rick: So listen, the heat’s on, and there’s nowhere left to turn, so Morty and I are just gonna fly my spaceship into a black hole.
Jerry: What?
Rick: Is that cool with you, dawg?
Jerry: Rick, no! Morty!
Rick: We got it. The call’s coming from, inside the house! Look at his face Look at his face!
Rick: You dummy!
Rick: Can’t believe our daughter married you.