Annie: Lucky. I transferred to Forensics late and got the worst classes. Skull Fragment Collection, Advanced Advanced Decomp, and Intro to Senselessness were all full.
Pierce: You had to win, didn’t you? When I was inches from the finish line.
Jeff: Pierce, you have so many credits, they have grand-credits. Just graduate already.
Abed: You know what, I’ll bring the soda. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure they’re aren’t anymore hangups.
Troy: Must I bear this cross forever?
Jeff: Annie, why are you acting like a mistress in a Lifetime movie?
Evil Jeff: Damn it, Britta. Did you shoot yourself too? Every time.
Britta: Hey! Don’t talk to her like that.
Jeff: Every time.
Annie: Nobody sleeps with Jeff, not even me.
Evil Troy: I’ve been counting bullets, one of us is out.
Troy: Is it you?
Evil Troy: Yes.
Troy: Why would you tell me that?
Evil Troy: To sound intimidating. *gets shot* *groaning* Almost worked.
Abed: Don’t logic this one away from me.
Dean Pelton: Friends, Greendalians, human beings, we are gathered here today to honor that sacred and eternal bond between a student and his dean. Neither time, nor distance, nor screening one’s calls could ever sever what nature herself has ordained. When two men are drawn-
Jeff: I’ll take it from here, Craig.
Dean Pelton: Fair enough, I was reaching.
Jeff: Three and a half years ago, when I came to Greendale, I met six year important people.
Dean Pelton: Ooh, burn on Britta.
Jeff: Sorry, seven. And meeting these people changed my life. Yep. I’m sorry, I-I don’t know what to say.
Troy: Ha-ha, yeah, okay.
Jeff: I’m so used to being the guy who can talk his way out of anything, but what do you say when you don’t want a way out? What you have all done for me is indescribable. It’s unbelievable. And my love for you is immeasurable, even when you split it seven ways.